i thought we do have happy life

arranging my files n folders in HD..
brought me to browse all the photos inside..

ya, there's a lot of your face in there..
old face, new face..
chubby face, skinny face..
long hair, short hair..
a lot of messy hair..
a few smart hair.. ;)

seeing those photos we have..
i really thought we ARE happy..
i thought we DO have happy life..
n it is just me..
who never satistied with the love..
it is just me..
who always wondered..
why there's always a shield..
between me n you..
i can never feel you..

so i keep trying n trying..
to make us better..
i know i can make it..
ALLAH will grant it someday..

but then, i cant see the light anymore..
then i cant breathe (out) the love anymore..
then i tired trying..
then i gave up..
i cant take it anymore..

then i changed my doa..

ya ALLAH.. tunjukkanlah yang terbaik untuk kami ya ALLAH..
jika dia membawa kebaikan untukku dunia dan akhirat, dekatkan lah kami ya ALLAH.. jadikanlah dia suami yang baik untukku..
dan jadikan aku isteri yang baik untuknya..
jika sebaliknya.. kau tunjukkanlah ya ALLAH..
tunjukkanlah..

it was 2010.. when i really really gave up..
i gave up trying.. when NONE of them seems to be succeed..

then ALLAH showed me.. one after another..
why i CAN NOT have your love..
why i can NEVER feel you..
then only i know..

ALLAH have answered me..
n show me the way..
and i am thankful..

but...
of all trial.. i cant help myself for feeling betrayed...

kerana selamanya, saya tak akan pernah menjangka..
dan kerana itu, saya tak akan berpaling lagi.. NEVER!!

*terasa ingin mengirim gambar gambar itu pada kamu..
tapi tidak tahu, adakah itu perlu* ~ sedang berperang antara yang baik dan jahat.. ;)